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THE GRACE LIFE - Family relationships

Do you have any insight on raising kids? << prev | next >>
Posted: 9/14/03

Raising children, you say? Haha! Whoa!

I don't have anything written about raising children ... not sure I want to get into that. :) I will say this much, though ... most of the stuff that has been said about, "training them in the way they should go" is detrimental to the identity of your child. It's not "in the way YOU want them to go", or "in the way YOU think GOD wants them to go", but "in the way THEY should go". I know that probably sounds weird, but there is an important distinction.

It is very important to get past your own illusions of WHO and WHAT your children are, and also that "control" is quite the facade. Remember, they are people who have to go through that "self-awareness" stage just like you and I did. You can't protect them from that. Yes, maybe from some of the more dangerous expressions of it, but each and every one of us have had to ask ourselves who we really are, and if we make any real effect on our world. What it is that they will have learned from you (in every imaginable way) will either help them or hinder them in this time of stress.

Don't fall into the trap of trying to raise your children "by grace". Sounds strange coming from a "grace man", huh? Grace stands in stark contrast to law, but we have turned it into "graciousness" -- a nicety -- in the minds of our children because we think we can "teach" them "grace". Grace is seen through failure, but how will our child see it when we do everything we can to prevent that failure. I think we have only produced the ILLUSION that we can keep failure from happening. And when it does happen to your child, he/she will not come to you or even consider what you have taught for they are sure you know nothing about dealing with the obvious failures you have been covering up.

Remember that Jesus came to save sinners. If your child doesn't seem to fit into that category, then there seems to be no hope for him/her.

Love, Jim
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